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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28816149">No longer did he want to be his</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_fucking_sunshine_for_once/pseuds/Little_fucking_sunshine_for_once'>Little_fucking_sunshine_for_once</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cravity (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Crying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, The Author Regrets Nothing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:21:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,944</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28816149</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_fucking_sunshine_for_once/pseuds/Little_fucking_sunshine_for_once</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Serim was a simple guy.</p>
<p>Well, in most cases. He loved music, poured his soul out into everything he did; guy you would want as close as possible. The world was simply a better place with him in it.</p>
<p>Although he seemed perfect on the outside, he had a very big secret tormenting him on the inside.</p>
<p>He knew his boyfriend had eyes for someone else.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ham Wonjin/Koo Jungmo, Ham Wonjin/Park Serim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>No longer did he want to be his</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The - stands for flashbacks, so the sigular ' means it happened a while ago, the double " means is happening at the moment. </p>
<p>Hope this helps with understanding the story!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Serim was a simple guy.</p>
<p>Well, in most cases. He loved music, poured his soul out into everything he did; guy you would want as close as possible. The world was simply a better place with him in it.</p>
<p>Although he seemed perfect on the outside, he had a very big secret tormenting him on the inside.</p>
<p>He knew his boyfriend had eyes for someone else. </p>
<p>-</p>
<p>“Serim? You're spacing out again!”</p>
<p>He promised to teach Jungmo for the math exam that was coming up; little did he know they were gonna study in the library and Wonjin was going to have vocal lessons in the room next to them. </p>
<p>You could say he was out of it; suddenly not knowing what the letters in his math book ment. </p>
<p>“You okay? Should we stop?” Serim finally looked at Jungmo. “What? No, no. I'm just...” His brain shutting off as the voice from the other room occupied his mind again, Jungmo only tsked. “You're so out of it today. What's up with you? Seasonal sickness?”</p>
<p>Serim just went with that. He didn't know what else to say. </p>
<p>“Wonjin and I are going to the movies later today. Wanna tag along?”</p>
<p>Jungmo? Third wheeling on a date? Absolutely not! </p>
<p>“What are they playing?” He bit his tongue, trying to hide his excitement upon hearing the latter's name. “I'm not sure. Wonjin said you'd like it and asked me to invite you.”</p>
<p>Serim's heart was breaking.</p>
<p>The words in question, ‘Wonjin said you'd like it and asked me to invite you’, hurt him the most.</p>
<p>Wonjin and Jungmo were spending way too much time together lately and Serim, being Wonjin's boyfriend, had to basically third wheel on every occasion.</p>
<p>“Cool. When are you going?” Serim wanted to scream, lie, say something completely different than the actual hour, he wanted to tell him to back off, to say no-</p>
<p>“At 7. It starts at half 8, but we'll grab some snacks and drinks.” Jungmo nodded. “I guess I'll see you there, then.”</p>
<p>Jungmo quickly gathered his things and shoved them into his bag, leaving Serim behind, smiling as he rushed out of the library. Serim was suddenly left alone with thoughts clouding in on him.</p>
<p>‘You're such an idiot.’</p>
<p>‘You're so fucking stupid.’</p>
<p>‘You're absolutely worthless.’</p>
<p>“Serim? What are you doing here, still? I texted you like 5 times.” Serim finally found himself back in reality. The gentle hand on his shoulder woke him up from his sorrow filled zoning out. </p>
<p>He turned to find the face he loved the most, the soft eyes that always looked so warm and gentle, the beautiful cheeks that always slightly shaded to pink when not wearing make up. Wonjin. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Serim said, half whispering as Wonjin softly smiled. “Did you zone out again?” Serim only nodded. He didn't know what else to do. Wonjin brought one hand up to caress his head, smiling. “You've been doing that a lot lately, you know that? Is something on your mind?”</p>
<p>‘Yes,’ Serim thought. ‘There's so much on my mind. So, so, so much.’</p>
<p>“Not really. I'm just tired,” Serim said, bringing one hand up to pull Wonjin's hand into his. He brushed his thumb over the delicate skin, and a part of him believed that he was worrying for nothing. </p>
<p>“Are you sick?” “No, I feel fine.” Wonjin nodded. He then leaned in and kissed Serim, nothing more than a quick peck since they were in public, but it made the elder incredibly warm inside. </p>
<p>“Wanna go from this stuffy place?” Serim smiled and quickly got up and before either of them knew, they were gone through the door. </p>
<p>-</p>
<p>‘Wonjin, this is my best friend Jungmo. Jungmo, this is Wonjin.’</p>
<p>Before Serim said the introductions till the end, the were already shaking hands, smiling brightly. It was at that same second that Serim knew. Serim just knew they will click together. </p>
<p>He just didn't realize they will click all too well later on. </p>
<p>‘Nice to meet you, Jungmo. Serim's been going on and on about you.’ Wonjin said, finally letting go off the other's hand. ‘Oh, yeah. Serim's been telling me about you. On and on, and on.’</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Serim sat on the edge of his bed, just reminiscing. Did he make a mistake? Should have he kept the two away from each other? Did he fuck up his own happiness? </p>
<p>It has been 6 months since Serim let them meet, and almost a year since he and Woojin started going out. Jungmo has been Serim's best friend since the freshman year of high school, and the two had never met. So how did he manage to fuck this up? </p>
<p>-  </p>
<p>‘Serim, which shirt should I buy?’ Serim excitedly watched as Wonjin first held one shirt then the other up to his chest, smiling. ‘I like the red one better.’ Wonjin smiled and tried it on, twirling infront of the mirror before taking it off and getting another one, so him and Serim would have a couple shirt. Serim slightly blushed at that fact, things with Wonjin going just how he imagined. Perfect.</p>
<p>They wore the shirts to class the next day. Tragic.</p>
<p>‘Oh, Wonjin? Serim.’ Serim would lie if he didn't want to slap Jungmo out of the shirt he showed up in. ‘The shirt... We're wearing the same one!’ Wonjin smiled before lightly punching his shoulder. ‘Is this a couple shirt? Then are we a trio now?’</p>
<p>Something about Jungmo made Serim so mad, yet when he saw how Wonjin smiled up at him, he somehow... Refused to care.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>“Are we picking up Jungmo at his house or will he be there?” Serim smiled, looking at Wonjin for a split second. “He'll be there already.” Wonjin smiled back and nodded, sliding his hand over Serim's and pulled it over to his thigh, fingers intertwined.</p>
<p>Why did Serim feel so bad?</p>
<p>“Wonjin,” he gulped before speaking again and looked at Wonjin as they stopped at the parking lot. “I love y-” “Oh, it's Jungmo!” Wonjin was quick to undo his seat belt and let go off Serim's hand, quickly running to meet the person Serim grew to hate with such pitiful reason.</p>
<p>He made his own boyfriend happier than he ever could.</p>
<p>“- You.” Serim sighed while staring at the two, who were already walking to the entrance, not even waiting for him.</p>
<p>“What am I even doing here?” His eyes filled with tears and before he knew it, he was weeping like a baby, ashamed at the feeling of losing his boyfriend, his one and only shelter, comfort stone, his sun. And ashamed at the fact that he's losing all that to his... Best friend.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>‘I... Like you, Ham Wonjin.’ His fingers were shaking, his heart beating out of his chest, his cheeks red and his eyes dancing around the younger's face. What did he do? Why did he tell him? He blew everything -</p>
<p>‘Are you for real?’ Serim didn't know what to answer. Was this a threat or a simple question?</p>
<p>‘No, I mean, are you being real with me? You're not joking with me or anything, right?’ Serim slowly shook his head before sheepishly smiling, tense. ‘W-why would I joke about that...’</p>
<p>The way Wonjin smiled with his cheeks rosing up, with his eyes awkwardly scanning Serim's frame. ‘I like you, too. I like you Park Serim.’</p>
<p>And Serim flashed a smile, a smile so big that his cheeks hurt from straining, that his eyes squint together so hard he couldn't see anything; and yet his hand found Wonjin's, tangling their fingers together.</p>
<p>It was their day one.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>“Serim.” His eyes reached up to Jungmo's. How bad did he want to punch himself in the gut for thinking about killing his bestfriend right there. “Jungmo. Did you wait long?” Jungmo smiled and shook his head. “No, just got here.”</p>
<p>“Should we go buy popcorn first?” Serim smiled at Wonjin who laced his fingers with his, looking at him while speaking. “Yes. Let's go.”</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>‘Happy valentine's day, Serim. Here,’ Wonjin said, smiling down at his boyfriend while reaching out a gift bag. ‘I bought your favorite.’</p>
<p>Serim excitedly opened the bag, only to have his eyebrows furrow in confusion. ‘Why?’ Serim looked up at Wonjin. ‘These...’ ‘Oh! I mixed up! There, this is the one!’</p>
<p>Taking the bag from his hands, Wonjin hurried and replaced it with another, this containing the real chocolates. </p>
<p>‘I must've mixed it up,’ Wonjin said, smiling at Serim. ‘Sorry.’ ‘Who are those for?’ Wonjin bit his lower lip before smiling at Serim again. ‘Jungmo. He bought me ones, too. I'm just returning the favor.’</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>“Which flavor should we get?” “Oh, there's so many.” “Caramel? Or marshmallow?” The prepositions they were making didn't suit Serim, at all. Sweet popcorn? “I can't eat it sweet.” “Ah, Serim, I promise it's good. The two of us had it last time.” Jungmo realized too late about what he had said, making Serim look directly at him. </p>
<p>The two of us? Last time? Who? When? </p>
<p>“Hm?” Wonjin looked at Jungmo and cleared his throat. “I mean, let's try it? I think you'll like it.” “Wonjin.” The younger looked at Serim. He had a huge lump in his throat, he wanted to scream, to punch someone, to dissappear. </p>
<p>“Let's get that, then.”</p>
<p>‘You're so stupid.’</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>‘Woow, your apartment is nice,’ Jungmo said, first time visiting Serim at his home apartment rather than his dorm room. </p>
<p>‘It is isn't it? It's so clean and big.’ Wonjin said, smiling as he placed groceries on the table. </p>
<p>They had a week off, and decided to have a good time among themselves. Serim was the one who offered the place, Wonjin the one who brough food, Jungmo the one who... Tagged along. </p>
<p>The three ate, cleaned up the mess they made and settled upon a movie to watch. </p>
<p>‘I'll go take a shower. You two can watch the movie.’ ‘No, can't you wait till the end? It'll be over soon. Let's take a shower together later.’ Serim smiled down at Wonjin and lowered, kissing his forehead. ‘I don't really like it. Besides, we have a guest. We can't do anything naughty.’ Wonjin pouted, nodding. ‘I guess you're right.’</p>
<p>So Serim went and showered. </p>
<p>He listened to the laughs coming from the living room and almost drowned in his tears, so long that his eyes couldn't even water up anymore. So long that the laughs died down, and the only light was the one projecting off of the TV, giving Serim just enough of indication of what is going on. </p>
<p>Jungmo's hand wrapped around Wonjin's waist, head pressed a top of his head, one leg trapped between Wonjin's. Both sleeping, all cuddled up, all close, all... Too lovely. </p>
<p>-<br/>“Where are our seats? Oh, here.”</p>
<p>The three sat down; Jungmo, Wonjin, Serim, in that exact order. </p>
<p>Almost as if Serim wasn't there, almost as if he was the third wheel; almost as if the two were on a date and he just happened to buy seat just next to them.</p>
<p>Giggling and talking among themselves, leaving Serim out of the conversation. At some point, Wonjin removed his hand from Serim's, and Serim somehow just... Had enough. </p>
<p>-</p>
<p>‘Jungmo, you're drunk. And not to mention, really fucking heavy.’ Jungmo was mumbling something about how sorry he feels, how he did wrong, how he should correct it. Serim didn't quite listen to him, drunk Jungmo being dead weight on his shoulders.</p>
<p>‘I'm so sorry, Serim.’</p>
<p>Serim froze up.</p>
<p>‘Why?’ Jungmo whined while slapping himself across his face. ‘You're my bestfriend...’ Serim patiently waited for a continuation, having a feeling where it was going.</p>
<p>And it made him sick.</p>
<p>‘I shouldn't have done it...’</p>
<p>‘Done what, Jungmo?’ Jungmo let tears overfrow before speaking again. ‘What, Jungmo? What did you do?’</p>
<p>‘I kissed Wonjin.’</p>
<p>Jungmo was lucky to be his bestfriend or else he would've... End him.</p>
<p>Yet, he faced him the next day, the bastard not even knowing he told him anything. So he kept his mouth shut.</p>
<p>Wonjin was awfully clingy that day, but didn't say anything.</p>
<p>And that hurt Serim even more; covering up, lying, acting as if nothing happened.</p>
<p>But he loved him. So at that time, he didn't care.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>“Guys, I'm going home.”</p>
<p>Both looked at Serim who stood up and picked up his coat. “Wait, wait. Why? It hasn't even started.” “I don't feel good.”</p>
<p>He didn't. He wanted to throw up.</p>
<p>“Well... Let's go then.” “No. Stay here and watch the movie. We paid, so...”</p>
<p>“You sure?” “Mhm.”</p>
<p>Something in the way Serim nodded, with slight indication of tears in his eyes and a forced smile on his lips made Wonjin run after him.</p>
<p>“Serim, wait!”</p>
<p>Serim sighed, freezing on the spot. Here goes nothing. Here goes Wonjin seeing him cry for the first time, here goes his heart crumbling to pieces. Here goes everything.</p>
<p>“Serim, what's goin-” Wonjin finally faced him, eyes growing wide as he stared at him. “W- Why are you crying?”</p>
<p>Serim wanted to die right there.</p>
<p>“W- Why- Serim?” Mumbling as Serim pulled him into a hug, Wonjin gently hugged him back, letting him cry out for a second.</p>
<p>Broken. Serim was completely broken.</p>
<p>“Serim? Wanna talk about it?” Serim sighed. They have to. They need to. They must. So why can't he say anything?</p>
<p>“We have to.” Serim mumbled. Wonjin would lie if he said that he wasn't nervous. It was the first time he had seen Serim cry; weeping, to be exact.</p>
<p>“Wonjin...” ‘Just say it.’ “I...” ‘Say it.’</p>
<p>Serim took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, turning to the floor. “We should break up.”</p>
<p>It rang in his ears, the words breaking him apart. He could hear Wonjin's breath shake, but didn't dare to look up at him.</p>
<p>“S- Serim...” Serim broke into tears again. This time he broke down completely; leaned down and tried to catch a breath before straightening again and finally opening his eyes to look at the love of his life, the one boy who made him the happiest, the one person he fully trusted, the one he will have to let go.</p>
<p>“Why are you saying that? What's wrong?” Serim forced a smile. Wonjin's eyes were teary and nose red, staring at him.</p>
<p>“Wonjin, I... I know.”</p>
<p>“Know what?” “That you and Jungmo are secretly meeting up behind my back. I know he kissed you.” Serim mumbled. </p>
<p>Wonjin stood frozen. “T- That's not-” “Please, don't deny it. ”</p>
<p>Their eyes finally met. “I can see you, uh,” having to clear his throat as his voice was cracking, he momentarily looked away from Wonjin, blinking away the tears forming. “You never smile at me like that, you know? You never did.”</p>
<p>Serim had to stop talking. His heart was breaking with every letter, with every breath.</p>
<p>“Serim, that's not true. I love you.” Serim smiled, letting the small forced smile dissappear quicker that it formed. “Let's stop- Let's stop pretending, Wonjin.” Serim took in a deep breath, bringing one hand up to caress the wet cheek on the other boy. </p>
<p>“Mabey at some point you did, but not anymore. You don't love me anymore, Wonjin.” Serim took in a deep breath, blinking away the tears, the droplets dripping down his cheeks nonetheless. “There's someone else you love now.”</p>
<p>“Wonjin, are yo-” Both boys turning to the sound of Jungmo's voice reaching across the parking lot, Jungmo stood frozen as he exchanged glances from Wonjin to Serim.</p>
<p>Serim looked at Wonjin and tookin a deep breath. “Can I hug you for the last time, please?”</p>
<p>Wonjin didn't know what to say. A year, gone in a span of seconds? Because he... Loves Jungmo?</p>
<p>Serim wrapped his hand around Wonjin, the younger pulling him tighter, crying into his shoulder.</p>
<p>Serim had to fight every cell in his body to let him go, and slid his hand down to lock his fingers with Wonjin for the last time, softly smiling at him. The smile was heartbreaking; tears just dripping out of his eyes, bottom lip shaking, fingers twitching. And yet he still looked as Wonjin with so much warmth in his eyes.</p>
<p>“Serim, I'm sor-” Simply shaking his head, Serim didn't want him to continue. Rather, he looked away from him and adverted his eyes to Jungmo, slowly stepping back, letting go off Wonjin.</p>
<p>“Just be happy.”</p>
<p>He softly smiled at him before turning and walking away, sitting in his car as he watched Jungmo run up to Wonjin and hug him. He could feel his breath hitch as he noticed how the smaller hugged Jungmo, holding onto his other hand to make the hug snugglier, warmer, tighter and Serim realized; he didn't deny. Wonjin didn't even run after him. He didn't even try to talk it out. He didn't want to stay; he didn't want to be beside him. </p>
<p>No longer did he want to be his, because now he has him.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>‘Serim, I'm so happy right now.’ Wonjin looked at Serim with such warmth in his eyes, laying under him as Serim smiled, lowering to kiss the younger. The kiss was passionate, deep, full of love and lust.</p>
<p>Legs tangled, feeling full and loved, clothes thrown everywhere around the bedroom, fingers intertwined, lips curled into smiles as they laid next to each other, scanning every feature on the other's face.</p>
<p>‘I love you.’ Serim whispered, and Wonjin smiled. ‘I love you, too.’</p>
<p>Cheeks already blushing after what they did, they stained redder as they exchanged a few kisses, already knowing they are going for round two.</p>
<p>‘I love you so much, Wonjin.’</p>
<p>‘I love you, too, Serim.’</p>
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